Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
