its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
