Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
