you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
