Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
