I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
