i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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