What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
