It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
