the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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