I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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