I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
oh god the rape fog is back!
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize