literally had 100 drinks last night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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