Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he fucked my hip out of place.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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