The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
