I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We don't watch enough power rangers
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
