So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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