He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
