weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize