It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize