I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
