How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
