he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
