remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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