Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
