Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
