You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
