I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize