So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize