she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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