shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
