my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
