Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
