Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
