Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
