those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
