No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize