Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
