C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
