how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
