Screwed.edu
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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