Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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