Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
