You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
