No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
