I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
