I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He better not be in your backpack
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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