I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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