Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All the doctor said was why
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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