Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
