Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
