u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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