He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
