My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
