no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
