I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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