Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
