my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
