Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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