"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
