btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize