I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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